Flattened Badger? Now That’s Good Eatin’!
So you’ve got everything prepared for that backpacking journey: all your gear is in order, you’ve packed clothing that’s appropriate for the climate of the area you’re visiting, and you’ve even had the foresight to get some good backpacker travel insurance to protect you on your way.
But what do you plan to do if you’re on an isolated stretch of trail, there’s no town for miles and miles in either direction, you’re hungry as a horse, and you’ve run out of freeze-dried chicken tikka?
Well, wonder no more, my backpacking friend, because a little research on the Internet before you hit the lofty mountains or forested flatlands is all you need to help ensure you never have a growling belly. With a little help from Mother Nature (and some assistance from humankind’s vehicular carelessness), you can enjoy a tasty, nutritious meal almost anywhere, and the secret ingredient is none other than (wait for it)…road kill.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines road kill as “animals killed on the road by a vehicle”. After reading this essay, you’ll happily add “good eatin’!” to that definition.
In recent years, there have been quite a few people who have come forward to sing the praises of eating carcasses found by the roadside. Recipe books have even been published offering the best ways to prepare these little morsels of rustic repast. There’s the ever-popular Original Road Kill Cookbook and also The Totalled Roadkill Cookbook: A Thoughtful Guide for Today’s Families. My personal favourite, though, has to be Iowa’s Roadkill Cookbook: A Collection of Spurious Recipes Using Ventre Montant (French for Belly-Up) Animals One Finds on Iowa Highways. The best of these books not only recommend what to do once you’ve shopped at the roadside supermarket, but they also give you tips on when and where to shop and what equipment you should have to hand.
So should the serious backpacker take seriously the idea of roadkill cookery? I suppose it would depend on the strength of your gag reflex and the intensity of your hunger.
Of course, most of these books are written with the author’s tongue planted firmly in cheek, but there are those who take it seriously. Take for instance Arthur Boyt, who made headlines a couple of years ago for his “freegan” ways. Being a freegan, Mr Boyt tries to avoid paying for any of his meals, so being a roadkill chef apparently helps him fill in the gaps when the local Sainsbury’s skip yields slim pickin’s. He’s been known to feast upon everything from badgers and barn owls to cats and dogs (that’s right, you read that correctly…cats and dogs). One of his favourites is Labrador, likening its flavour to that of lamb (Mr Boyt does state that he’d never eat an animal that had identification tags, but would instead go to the ends of the earth to find the animal’s owner).
So all you nature-loving backpackers and cross-country trekkers take note, if you’re traversing those lonely country backroads and find yourself in need of sustenance, think twice before you turn up your nose at stuff you find lying around in ditches.
On second thought, why not just pack some extra flapjacks?
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